If you are planning your wedding right now, do you know the origins of all of the traditions you are thinking about putting into your big day?
I come from a fairly traditional British family, which means that a typical wedding comes with a list of fairly standard traditions. Wedding rings, cake, bouquet toss, wearing a veil, wearing a white dress, handfasting, the best man & bridesmaids. Mack & I are pretty non-traditional (I have said this before & I will probably keep saying it haha), so many of these traditions are not going to be happening at our wedding. I think this is posing a bit of a challenge for my fam, but they are dealing with it well!
But where do these traditions come from? I imagine lots of these traditions happen at weddings today because things have always been done that way, without much thought into how they started in the first place.
So here we go - 15 Western wedding traditions & their origins. Also if we are including them or scrapping them for our wedding & why.
Western traditions go all the way back to Ancient Greece & Rome - they started off, not as a romantic gesture, but as a legal contract between the groom & the bride's father, often as an arranged marriage. The woman didn't get a say at all!
Many traditions stemmed from this time, with others coming in a little later, in the Elizabethan & Victorian Eras.
1. Wedding cake
History:
Cake traditions began in Ancient Rome - they were, at that time, made of wheat or barley & the groom was expected to crush it over the bride's head. Or sometimes the guests threw the cake at the bride. This promoted good fortune & fertility. The type of cake evolved in the 1600s in England to be a pie instead, which is where the traditional fruitcake originates. The ever popular white tiered cake were used by the wealthy to signify their high status.
Our wedding:
We are having a wedding cake, yes. Predominately because Mack wants one. I figured we don't really need one because our catering already includes an awesome dessert buffet. But we are having one haha. Noone will be throwing it at me though - it really is just because we like cake, not for any of the traditional reasons!
2. Bouquet & garter toss
History:
In Europe in the 1300s, it was believed that the bride's gown brought good fortune. Guests typically tore at the dress as the bride exited the wedding for her honeymoon. Both the bouquet & garter toss served as a distraction for the guests to stop them ripping the dress. Catching the bouquet is rumoured to bring a husband to the woman who catches it. The garter was another piece of clothing which was deemed lucky - guests often became unruly & started trying to grab it off the bride. The groom assumed the role of removing the garter & throwing it out of respect for his bride.
The bouquet itself was typically made of flowers & herbs, believed by the Romans to ensure fertility & faithfulness. Other believed it would ward off evil spirits. Other brides have sewed herbs into their dresses (good fortune) & carried wheat (to bring healthy crops), ivy or roses, which symbolised eternal love.
Our wedding:
We are not doing either of these things! My bouquet isn't really throw-able (it is made of metal) & I am not having a garter. Also, I don't really see the point.
3. Wearing a veil
History:
In Ancient Greece & Rome, coloured veils were worn to hide the bride from head to toe, designed to keep evil spirits at bay. This veil would then be used as a burial shroud. Veils were also commonly used to hide the bride's face at an arranged marriage so that the groom wouldn't change his mind. They have also symbolised modesty & virginity. Nowadays, veils are part of tradition, very much separated from any superstitious meaning.
Our wedding:
No veil for me! To be honest, I see it as an annoying hindrance rather than a garment of any significance.
4. Bridesmaids
History:
There are only theories as to how the tradition of bridesmaids came about, the most popular being that they dressed like the bride to confuse evil spirits, who could bring misfortune (Ancient Rome). Whilst most bridesmaids still match in some way today, they usually do not match the bride (although white bridesmaid dresses are very in at the moment).
Our wedding:
I have 2 bridesmaids & 1 maid of honour, because I like the idea of having your closest friends stand with you while you marry the love of your life. The bridal party is also extremely helpful in planning the wedding day!
5. Best man
History:
Historical records show that men often kidnapped their brides. The best man was the accomplice to this crime, also helping protect the groom from the angry relatives of the bride. He also often guarded the marital chamber afterwards in case of attack or escape. Usually the best swordsman was appointed the best man (often a hired pro), with the groomsmen as backup. Thank goodness this isn't really a thing in the Western world anymore!
Our wedding:
Mack does have a best man! Certainly not as an accomplice to steal me though haha. His is his best friend - similar to the bridal party in that he helps plan things (namely the buck night) & stand by Mack while he marries me.
6. Rice toss
History:
Throwing rice (or wheat or barley) traditionally meant, in ancient times, showering the newly weds with fertility & good fortune (recurring themes anyone?). Nowadays, couples are showered with confetti, rose petals, nuts - or guests blow bubbles, or light sparklers, or wave glowsticks.
Our wedding:
We don't want people throwing things at us & we don't really have an 'exit' planned, so this will not be happening in any form for us.
7. A white wedding dress
History:
We can thank Queen Victoria for the tradition of a white wedding dress. Prior to this, a woman simply wore her best dress, regardless of colour. Blue is thought to have been a top pick for Christians before this, representing innocence; red was also popular in England at some stage. Queen Victoria broke tradition of wearing a royal velvet robe by wearing a white satin & silk dress instead - at the time, white was the colour of mourning. Other royals had worn white before her, but only after Queen Victoria wore one did it become the traditional wedding dress colour. Only in recent times have coloured wedding dresses popped up again.
Our wedding:
I did choose to wear a white dress! For the ceremony part at least & for photos. I think this has something to do with the way I was brought up - I actually haven't worn a white dress ever, because that is what I do at my wedding for the first time. That being said, I also wanted my outfit to reflect my personality so I am going for a more traditional dress to begin with, then will change for the reception into something a little more colourful!
8. Wedding rings
History:
Wedding rings actually began in the Middle East - before coins, rings were used as currency & symbolised wealth. In Rome, a gold band became a symbol of commitment in marriage & everlasting love; these were often carved with 2 clasped hands. These hands actually still appear in traditional Irish Claddagh rings, along with a heart & a crown (meaning love, loyalty & friendship). It was also thought in ancient times that the wedding ring protected the bride from evil spirits.
Our wedding:
We are exchanging rings. We did talk about whether we would or not, but we like having a symbol of our marriage to wear. I also like the symbology of everlasting love & commitment. The rings won't be super traditional though (my engagement ring is a Celtic knot with an amethyst) - my wedding band will match my engagement ring, with Mack choosing something he likes. They definitely won't match!
9. The ring finger
History:
Different cultures throughout history have used different ring fingers. Early ancient Greece used the index finger; In India, they used the thumb. At some stage, the Greeks started using the third finger (the traditional finger we use today) as they believed that finger was directly connected to the heart (the vein of love). Some use the left hand & other the right hand, so it depends where you are from to which hand you use. Some countries in Europe & South America wear the engagement ring on their right hand, then once they are married, change it over to the left; other countries in Europe do this the other way around.
Our wedding:
I wear my engagement ring on the third finger on my left hand, mostly because that is the finger I was brought up to call the wedding ring finger. I am sticking with this tradition, because this finger is as good as any other to wear it. If for some reason my ring ever stopped fitting on this finger, I would have no qualms in switching. For our wedding day, I intend to switch the engagement ring over to my right hand, then once the wedding ring is on, I will switch it back - this is for no other reason than I want my wedding ring to be on the bottom.
10. Wedding favours (bonbonnieres)
History:
Little wedding gifts started in 16th century England, when couples gave love knots of lace & ribbon to each guest. Throughout history, various cultures have provided different gifts. Bonbonnieres (French) or Bomboniere (Italian) were given not just at weddings, but also birthdays & other celebrations. Typically these were a box with little candies. The most traditional were Jordan almonds, which are still popular today (candied almonds); these included 5 almonds, which represented fertility, health, wealth, happiness & longevity.
Our wedding:
I plan to have a little gift to give to our guests. Because I think it is nice to thank your guests for coming & leave them with a little momento. Still very undecided what ours will be, but I am aiming to spend not a lot on them as not all guests even take them!
11. Giving away the bride
History:
This tradition stems from centuries of weddings which were essentially financial transactions. The bride was property, with her rights & protection at the hands of the man in charge of her life. At a wedding, the father transfers authority from him to her groom. Today, the father still typically walks the bride down the aisle, more as a confirmation of his blessing.
Our wedding:
I really don't like the history behind this one. The only reason why this is happening at our wedding is because my dad indicated he would be upset if he didn't get to walk me down the aisle. He won't be 'giving me away' though - it will simply be him walking be down the aisle, as a symbol of support of my marriage to Mack, not a transfer of ownership.
12. Something old, new, borrowed, blue
History:
This is an English tradition for good luck, symbolising continuity (old), optimism for the future (new), future happiness (borrowed) & modesty, fidelity & love (blue). In ancient times, blue meant purity (not white). Traditionally, there was also a six-penny in your shoe - symbolising prosperity. These are all usually things a bride carries or wears on her wedding day.
Our wedding:
I am actually really undecided on this one if I will do it or not. The lady who made my shawl actually sent me a something blue, which is pretty much the only reason why I am considering it. Watch this space on this one.
13. The buck night
History:
Spartans were the first civilisation to have buck nights (or stag parties). The groom had a party for his friends the night before the wedding, to celebrate his last night as a bachelor whilst also pledging continued allegiance to his fellow soldiers. Typically, now, the best man & groomsmen host the buck party for the groom to celebrate the last night of 'freedom' - it is becoming more common to host these events weeks before the wedding so the couple are not hungover & exhausted at the wedding.
Our wedding:
Mack will likely have a buck night, just like I will have a hen party - mostly just excuses to have a party & hang out with friends!
14. Handfasting
History:
This is a ritual, binding the wrists together - legend has it that this would secure two people for a year & a day, essentially serving as a marriage trial. It still exists today as part of many ceremonies, symbolising devotion to each other, but is not a legal part of the ceremony in Australia. Other rituals that sometimes appear in ceremonies include the blending of the sands & lighting a unity candle.
Our wedding:
We will not be doing any of these things! In Australia, there are 3 sentences that legally have to be said to marry; everything else is just fluff. We will be doing the shortest possible ceremony with minimal fluff & focusing on the celebration instead.
15. Honeymoon
History:
This stems from ancient times where, after getting his bride, the groom would take her into hiding. By the time they were tracked down by the bride's family, she would likely be pregnant, which is when a 'bride price' would be negotiated. These days, it is simply a post wedding holiday to enjoy being alone!
Our wedding:
It is likely we will have a honeymoon, but 6 - 12 months after the actual wedding. Partly due to other commitments right after our wedding, partly due to money. But we will get around to having our first holiday as a married couple at some point.
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And that's it!
How many of these traditions did you know the origin of?
Are there any traditions, now that you know where they come from, that you will scrap from your big day?
See you next week - Wednesday at 4pm!
Hx
