As someone who is an event planner by trade & someone who would be interested in being a wedding planner in the future, I am really into learning about all of the fine details, traditions & intricacies of events & weddings that people typically tend to do/follow. I think it is good to know where people are coming from when they make decisions & why they do the things that they do for their wedding.
When we started planning our wedding, we knew that most of the traditions were going to be scrapped. We are not religious, not traditional & we want our wedding to showcase us as a couple whilst also being really fun.
There are so many religions, cultures & traditions that exist & when you get married, the traditions & style of the wedding tend to be dictated by your families.
Weddings also seem to bring the worst out in everyone, with anyone & everyone offering advice & opinions that weren't asked for & in some cases try to control how the day will go because it is what they want for you.
If these traditions make sense to you as a couple, then great, go for it!
But if you want to break from the norm & have a wedding day that encapsulates you as a couple, then you should be doing that. As much as this sounds harsh, it doesn't matter if your parents don't like it; it's your day!
I know that sometimes it isn't worth the fight & you will just do the things to keep the peace. But really think about what you want so you don't regret elements of your wedding day.
Essentially, do whatever makes sense for you.
If you don't want flowers, don't have them. If you don't want to wear white, then don't. If you want to do a full on theme & want everyone to dress up, amazing! If you don't want a veil, or a garter, & you don't want to do the bouquet toss, also totally fine. If you want to follow every tradition to the letter, then perfect. If you would prefer to elope, go for it!
In my opinion, anything goes. It's a HUGE amount of money for one day, so it should be perfect for you both.
And on that subject of money. If you parents are paying, or contributing, remember this. Cash is a gift, to help you pay for the big day. It is absolutely not an entitlement to call the shots! Just because your mum gave you some money does not mean she gets to choose the colour scheme, or the invitations, or invite a table of her friends or colleagues or neighbours! Just. No.
For our wedding, Mack & I listed the things that are important to each of us for the day (refer to the 'You Just Got Engaged' checklist) & prioritised those. We also talked about the things we don't want. And, newsflash, we didn't ask our parents if they minded. We just chose to do them, or not.
I did ask my parents if there would be anything that they would be heartbroken over if we didn't do it. The only thing that my dad would be upset over is if he didn't get to walk me down the aisle. And I can live with that haha.
Feel free to contact with any questions on this :).
Join me next week when I talk about the traditions that typically occur in a Western wedding, their history & why we chose to include or scrap them from our wedding.
Hx
No comments
Post a Comment