I hope you're all doing really well.
A wedding is a pretty huge moment in a couple's life & I think that it is pretty important, as a guest, that we do our bit to create the most awesome vibes possible.
With that in mind, I have compiled a list of things to think about if you are invited to a wedding. Some are super obvious, some are possibly controversial, but all of them boil down to one thing - be thoughtful & respect the couple's wishes!
Small disclaimer - this post is 100% my opinion & I definitely don't expect everyone to agree with everything in it. Share your thoughts & opinions in the comments, but be kind & respect other people's differing opinions :)
So let's get into it - my 15 tips to being a great wedding guest!
1. Don’t bring an uninvited guest
Weddings are expensive, as well as personal, so if someone isn't invited, there is usually a reason. This could be anything from having to draw the line somewhere, to just not wanting people they don't know well at their wedding - & at the end of the day, it's their wedding, not yours! So, feel free to ask if you do want someone to attend with you, but respect the couple if the answer is no & don't show up with someone who isn't invited!
2. Obey the dress code
This is another case of respect what the couple wants! If it's black tie, don't be that guy who is wearing jeans (actually, if you ask me, no one should be wearing jeans to a wedding ever, regardless of how casual!).
3. Forget to RSVP
As soon as you get your invite, RSVP immediately! I have found that I have about 50% of my guestlist who did this haha - the other half I suspect I will need to chase soon. What would be worse is forgetting to RSVP & showing up anyway. Just don't - RSVP ASAP!!
4. Don’t turn up late
Turning up fashionably late might be normal to you at parties, but a wedding is different. There are formalities that will happen whether you are there or not, so be sure not to miss them. If the ceremony starts at 3pm, aim for 2.30pm just to be sure. It's a big moment in a couple's life & they want you to share it with them, so be there.
5. No posts on socials when the couple explicitly asked you not to
Respect the couple - do what they want, not what you want. If they don't want you to take photos of the ceremony, don't. If they want to be the first to share their big day online, that is 100% fair enough actually, so respect it. Take all of the photos in the world of yourself at the reception & post those, but follow the couple's lead & don't post pictures of them until after they do.
6. Don’t assume kids are invited
If the invitation isn't clear whether kids are invited, double check before just assuming they are invited. If they are not invited, lock in that babysitter & enjoy a night off.
7. Don’t move seats
Arranging the seating chart can be a pretty big mission for a couple, especially if there is lots of family politics involved. Sit in your allocated seat, at least for the formalities - respect the decision of the seating chart because there is usually a reason for it. The venue will also have said chart to make dietary requirements & dinner service run smoothly.
8. Let the couple know your dietary requirements ahead of time
Don't wait until you arrive at the wedding to tell the couple that you are vegan, vego, gluten free, allergic to tomatoes etc. - tell them when you RSVP. Hopefully the RSVP asks for dietaries, but if it doesn't & you have one, go out of your way to let the couple know. If you don't, don't expect there to be something you can eat.
9. Don’t get too drunk or make an inappropriate speech
Don't be that guy. Don't make a fool of yourself or ruin the evening for everyone else.
10. Bring a gift/contribute to the wishing well
This one isn't actually a huge deal to me - I have a wishing well, but if people want to give a gift, or if people can't afford to do either, that is cool too. I just want to have a great night with my loved ones. But it is customary to contribute, so assume that you should do so, following the guidelines - if there is a registry, buy from that; if it's a wishing well, contribute to that. Don't go rogue!
11. Don’t bring a bad mood with you
Leave your attitude at the front gate when you arrive at a wedding. This day is all about the couple, not you, so leave whatever is going on with your life for the evening & enjoy the escape.
12. Mingle with other guests
This one applies especially if you are at a wedding where you don't know anyone. Mingle & have fun; don't sit in the corner like a martyr. Maybe you'll make some new friends!
13. Keep negative comments to yourself
Not everything will be done the way that you would do it, so don't be judgemental over the couple's choices. If the evening flows, if the food & drinks are good, if everyone is having a good time, who cares if they didn’t throw the bouquet, or if there are no flowers on the centrepieces, or if the colour scheme is your least favourite colour. Every wedding is unique & is 100% about the couple getting married, not about your preferences, so keep your opinions to yourself.
14. Respect the photographer
The couple probably spent a lot of money on a professional photographer to document their big day. So respect that! Don't get in the photographers way, don't follow them around whilst they take the family portraits, don't get out of your seat to get a better angle. Take pics of yourself & other guests & anything else, as long as you aren't blocking the photographer.
15. Roll with the punches
I know it can make people uneasy to not know what is going on, but try to get into the spirit of the day. Some couples like to be a bit spontaneous & surprise their guests sometimes, to get into it. Sign the guestbook, jump into the photobooth & just have fun!
At the end of the day, if you are a guest at a wedding, it is not your big day, it is the couples. So be thoughtful, respect the couple & everything will be great!
Hx
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